And in the thickness, you'll find me
by roxyhoney
Summary: She watched her father murdered right in front of her eyes and she couldn't do anything about it. She sure as hell didn't expect a certain blue eyed vampire to care.


**This one shot is dedicated to certain members of the bamily when we were discussing a deleted scene in season 5 when Sheriff Forbes told Damon first about Bonnie's dad dying. It should have been out ages ago, and honestly, I'm not quite proud of it. My muse is in this big time out right now. I have several fics that I'm trying to update, and also a new one that's trying to pop up, but my mind keeps going blank and writer's block is rearing its ugly head.**

 **But, even with all that being said, I still hope you enjoy!**

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" _This summer, I've consumed an immeasurable amount of blood. And I felt myself getting stronger and stronger every day. And I started to wonder, what are the limits to my powers? How many people can I influence? Two? Ten? An entire town square-No one make a sound or move a muscle."_

It kept replaying in her mind. Over and over again. His voice…his words… it slammed into her skull repeatedly, and the trauma was almost blinding… deafening even.

She doesn't move. It's been twenty four hours and she's been sitting in the same spot; on the same stage where Silas ended her father's life; where he brutally sliced open his neck just to prove a point.

Her father dropped dead in front of her and she couldn't do a thing about it. No one in attendance could. The town stood still and watched as her father was killed.

After that, everything was nothing but a blur. The police showing up, the paramedics taking her father's body, the caution tape being put around the crime scene. She watched as it all happened, and she couldn't even bring herself to look away. The image of her father being put in a body bag would always be branded in her mind.

How could this happen? How was this fair?

The pain she felt… the hollowness, it felt so real, but yet could that even be possible? She wasn't even corporeal. Her heart wasn't beating, her blood wasn't flowing, so her feelings… her pain; all of that was nonexistent. She was dead. Her dad was dead. Her grams was dead. If she wasn't in so much pain she'd probably laugh at how crazy it all sounded.

Instead, she was sitting on the stage where her father was murdered; sitting right beside the dried blood. And, she couldn't stop crying. She had finally reached her breaking point; a point she thought she was immune from reaching. Even when she died; when expression took her life for bringing Jeremy back, she had yet to just flat out cry. She accepted it… she made herself accept it. She figured that since her grams was over here with her, she could still talk to Jeremy, and she could still see her friends, even if they couldn't see her, that she would be okay.

But, she wasn't, and she couldn't hold it in anymore.

The thought kept replaying in her mind that if she weren't dead, then she could have saved her father's life. She could have got him to safety or try to stop Silas herself. She felt so stupid right now. How could she risk her life to bring Jeremy back? How could she honestly think that her life wasn't as important as his or Elena's? She's sacrificed herself more than enough. She was worth it damnit!

And that realization made her cover her eyes and cry harder.

She didn't know how many minutes or maybe even hours had passed before a noise caught her attention. When she looked up, she almost jumped, because not only was someone standing right in front of her, but it happened to be Damon Salvatore of all people.

There was a moment where it looked like he could see her; as if he were staring into her eyes, but sadly reality set in, and he was only looking right through her.

She then watched as he pulled out his cell phone and began to scroll down. She was surprised at the small smile that formed to her lips when he stopped at the contact.

 _Judgey._

"Okay, Damon, just do it." He said to himself. "Just call the judgey little witch, tell her what happened, and then she'll tell the rest of the Scooby gang, and wash your hands of it."

She watched as he stared at his phone for five minutes, before making the call.

"Why would Liz even tell me this? I don't even care."

When her voicemail entered his ears, he hung up abruptly.

Bonnie can't help but be a bit confused. Why would Damon even care to call her about this? And why did he seem so distraught that she didn't pick up the phone. He never really showed compassion for anyone but….

Damon placing his hands on either side of her, immediately stopped Bonnie's thought process. She didn't even really have time to react before his forehead was leaning into hers. If she had been alive, they would have touched.

If people could see her, it would have looked like two people sharing an intimate moment; finding comfort in one another. And there was a moment…just a moment where Bonnie found herself leaning in; that maybe she'd be able to feel something…anything. She missed touching people. She missed holding hands, and hugging. She missed feeling.

It wasn't a secret that she and Damon rarely got along. Their interactions were mainly for Elena or when he needed something from her. But, even though he was not the type of person she could confide all her secrets in, he was someone that she trusted to have her back when shit hit the fan.

And as awkward and out of character as it was, right now… at this moment, she would have given anything just to feel his skin against hers.

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The funeral was harder. So many people were there; some she knew, and some she never met a day in her life. But, it was a beautiful service. People said so many nice things. And yet as she stood at the grave site in front of her father's tombstone, she couldn't help but wonder why no one found it odd that she wasn't there.

Yes, Jeremy gave the excuse that she was in too much pain to come. But she just couldn't believe that her friends really bought that. Well, never mind, they believed that she was vacationing with a mother that abandoned her, so what could she really expect?

It had been hours since everyone left, but Bonnie's feet felt cemented to the ground. All she could do was stare at her father's tombstone and think about birthday's, Christmases, and trips they took together. Yes, for a few years his work had consumed his life and he wasn't able to be around much, but she never had to worry for anything. He did the best he could with what he had, and he was a good dad. It was even harder because since he wasn't supernatural, she couldn't even see him on the otherside.

Had life really ended up this way?

Damon Salvatore caught her attention again as he walked up and stood right beside her.

Okay, seriously, what was he doing here?

Today, she watched him bury her father, watched as he questioned Jeremy about her whereabouts, and yet, she just couldn't bring herself to understand why? It just seemed way too bizarre.

When he pulled out his phone again, and dialed her number, this time he left a message when it went to voicemail.

"Voicemail. Again? I kind of think you're ignoring me, judgey." Pause. "Look I know you're sad and all, but we buried your dad today, and it just seems odd that you're not here. The little pip squeak isn't a good liar, so where are you?" Pause. "It's not that I'm worried or anything, but Elena is, and yeah so….call me back."

Were pigs flying? Was Damon Salvatore actually worried about her?

She really didn't know what to make of it or what possessed her to reach out and grab his hand, but she jerked away when she felt the cool feeling of his skin beneath her fingertips.

It wasn't just the sheer fact that she felt his hand that made her heart start racing, but it was the way he jerked his hand away in the process.

Please don't let her be imagining this.

Moving to stand in front of him, she tried grabbing both of his hands this time, but unfortunately they passed right through.

"No, no no…"

When her eyes connected with his, she really couldn't stop herself from thinking that he could see her.

"Damon?" She tried cupping his face in her hands, but again, they went right through him.

 _Damnit!_ "Damon? Please tell me you can see me?" She knows he can't, but that doesn't stop her from practically begging. Her mind and emotions were in over drive, and she just… she needed to be seen. She wanted him to see her. "Please…"

But, after a moment of searching his eyes, she was rewarded with nothing but silence. And that made her slump in defeat.

"No, I can't see you."

His voice made her look quickly back into those blue eyes, and he's staring right at her without actually seeing her.

"But I can hear you. What the hell is going on, Bennett?"

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 **A/N: Thank you for reading. Again, I'm still kind of beating myself up for sharing this, because it's not my best work, but I hope you enjoyed anyway. Hopefully I can get out of this on and off again writer's block soon. Please let me know what you think =)**

 **** oh and the title is from the song Skin by Zola Jesus****


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